Global Warming Alert...Planetary Emergency Redefined

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This headline news flash from the Al Gore network just in:

"GLOBAL WARMING DOES NOT MEAN THE EARTH IS BECOMING WARMER"

Yes my friends...Al Gore, due to public opinion polls indicating fewer than one quarter of the American voters now feel Global Warming is even an issue, has redefined the argument to more closely match the mood of the people.

We refer to this as "dancing around the truth." But who are we to criticize? After all we're not "climate experts" like Al.

The record breaking cold spells of this winter likely haven't helped his public relations efforts, and even some mainstream media pundits have been critical of his past prognostications.

In response, Al has begun to clear up our confusion by explaining that Global Warming doesn't necessarily mean the globe is warming. He has dropped the Global Warming label in favor of the Climate Change label...a preemptive public relations strike...and is now reaching a new level of confusing rhetoric.

It isn't so much warming we have to worry about, he states, the main issue is that weather will become "chaotic."

HUH?

Oh my God! This means the weather of our childhoods, when it was 72 degrees every day, with a light wind out of the south, and every night about 2 AM there would be half an hour of light rain (so we wouldn't have to water our lawns) is now a thing of the past.

Weather will now be "chaotic"; meaning completely out of control...and different every day. Experts predict we can now expect a number of new and devastating phenomenon to occur. One of these will frequently come about in the vicinity of the equator and will be called either hurricanes or typhoons. These devastating "storms", a general term invented to put a label on new chaotic weather patterns, will be birthed over the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans and make their way towards land.

They will hit land with high winds, waves, and something called "heavy rains" resulting in damage to homes and buildings and possible "flooding" (a new term meaning an excess of natural water from rainfall).

As if that's not bad enough; the American mid-west will be officially referred to as "Tornado Alley" in order to emphasize to residents the seriousness of another predicted phenomenon which will be called a "tornado." This is a unique, and brand new type of "storm" capable of striking quickly and without warning and destroying homes and property...focusing on trailer parks specifically...and the people in "Tornado Alley" must be prepared.

Gore is advising the construction of "tornado shelters" or "storm cellars" where residents may flee and feel somewhat safe from the chaos above. The invention of the "storm cellar" may well be remembered as one of Gore's greatest contributions to society, along with his invention of the internet.

In other areas we may well experience the "heavy rain" attacks which will cause the aforementioned "flooding". Experts predict these "floods" may become an annual occurrence in low-lying areas they are now referring to as "flood plains." The devastating results of these "floods" will include hours of incredibly predictable television news coverage by reporters in yellow rain-slickers.

On the flip-side...regions of the globe may experience too little rainfall, resulting in an effect which will be labeled "drought" followed by "famine"...for some unexplained reason this will be particularly notable in regions ruled by tin-pot dictators and other socialist types.

The only way we can circumvent this coming devastation is to give all of our money, what we have left that is, to Al Gore, in the form of "carbon credits" and to the US government, in the form of "energy" taxes. These two actions should halt the evils of capitalism and bring to an end the terrors of abundant food, shelter, clothing, and other material goods. The weather will again be brought under control of our all-seeing and ever-wise bureaucrats in Washington DC (bless them all...for they will save us).

So be prepared America! Chaos is coming...and with it a burgeoning industry in "weather forecasting", thermometers, barometers, batteries, canned food, candles, Coleman stoves, and rain-gear (clothing to protect one from the new chaos). May God be with us...

The Professor (from his "storm cellar")

The Real Plan for our Health Care Industry

It's down to the wire; that deadline set by the leaders of the Democratic party, and the truth about the health care nationalization legislation is finally coming to light. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are assuring their hard-core leftist followers that this bill is only a "foot in the door" and will be followed by "lots more bills."

And of course it will pass, by hook or by crook. The "Stupak Group" of democrats in the house are playing coy, but they fully intend to cave-in after putting on a show for their constituents. On really controversial portions of the bill the president has made individual promises to use "executive orders" to annul those sections...after which he can simply reverse those orders of course. It's difficult to tell whether the congressional members are stupid enough to believe this stuff...or whether they simply think we're stupid enough to believe it.

I've known since reading the original bills that health care providers all over the country would be forced out of business if the language of the bill was actually implemented. The only question remaining was "are congressional members completely unable to understand basic business and economic principles...or is their intent to put the entire health care industry into chaos and bankruptcy?"

Do they really believe that increasing taxes by the trillions and creating 8,000 more federal agencies will lower the deficit? Of course not...even they are not that dumb...they simply assume we are.

Those aforementioned "public servants" finally cleared it up for me. Thinking themselves safe from prying video cameras, they've recently explained to supporters that the bill is designed to crush the health care establishment. After which the populace will panic and congress can then do anything they wish to establish a government run and controlled system without private competition.

This is brilliant in its own way...fascist...evil...demented...but brilliant. There are, however, a few problems which might pop up with this ambitious plan to destroy our economy, our hospitals and health care establishment, and put tens of millions out of work...

The first problem; we've noticed...and we're not likely to stand still for this.

Right now the voters are doing what has always worked...making phones calls and sending emails by the millions. Most of us, however, have figured out we're being blatantly and rudely ignored. The Democrats have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar; so they are pretending, for a few more days, as if we don't exist.

It's obvious, to those paying attention and who know their history, that this congress has finally superseded every congress of the past to become what is likely the most corrupt in two plus centuries.

Their hope is, of course, that the bill can be signed and the "giveaways" in the bill can be used to placate us...lull us to sleep...before the "takeaways" kick in. That probably won't work. They can fool some of the people all of the time...but that number is shrinking rapidly.

Already tens of thousands of health care providers are rushing to complete early retirement plans. The restrictions and regulations in the bill, once implemented, will make it nearly impossible for a physician to make a profit, nevertheless a decent salary, while operating a practice. They've figured it out, and will minimize their losses by closing shop. We already have a shortage of physicians...in the next year or two the shortage will start to have a real impact on our personal lives.

Already health care insurance firms are desperately attempting to increase revenues so they can hang on when the new requirements kick in. Despite the propaganda in the media, some insurance firms might have large dollar profits, but these are actually very thin percentage profits...which is what actually counts.

Say your company posts a profit of a million dollars...sounds pretty darn good. But when you pay out expenses of 200 million dollars, the tiniest downturn will suck up that million very quickly and leave you bankrupt. That's exactly the plan.

Within months, your health care insurer is going to be severely stressed. When that happens, stockholders will demand liquidation of the firm and closure in order to minimize their losses. The supporters of the bill hope that will not happen until the November 2010 elections are over...then they will have a shot at remaining in office. But they are already popping the champagne corks and gleefully celebrating the end of private enterprise, your privacy, and the upcoming taking of all health care businesses.

By the time we lose our insurance coverage, they hope, the congress will be reseated. The people might be angry, but the people will also be desperate for some type of health care, no matter how bare bones, and for doctors to get back to work.

At that time, ignorant government bureaucrats will be firmly in charge. The people, they assume, will beg to be "saved" and accept anything they are handed. The politicians will have complete and total control of all the evil doctors they despise so much...control of the pharmaceutical companies, the hospitals and clinics, and through this control they will control our very lives...guaranteeing them seats in congress for life and all the power they've ever desired.

Herein lies the second problem; we, the people, are not stupid!

I truly believe the supporters of this bill, and the hundreds of planned follow-up bills and amendments stripping us of our rights and property, truly believe they are intellectually superior to their employers (that's us) as we were so foolish as to put them in power in the first place...and then to trust them with it.

That is a simplistic view: We lead busy lives. We have families and concerns outside the day-to-day workings of the people we hire to represent us. That we hire them, send them to Washington, then tend to forget about them, doesn't necessarily make us stupid. It does make us trusting...at least to some degree.

That it turns out we can't trust them is not a slam on us...it is a slam on them. These folks shouldn't be able to look at themselves in a mirror after the lies, the innuendo, and now the intentional avoidance of our instructions. They should be deeply ashamed of themselves...and they should be very afraid of what we're going to do to them.

This congress has broken every rule, every trust, every barrier that has stood in place for 2oo plus years, and has done so not only blatantly, but apparently while laughing and sneering at us. We still have the power to throw the bums out...so now comes the real test of our citizenship and our own morality...in essence will we remember eight months from now...we will be bold...and will we hold to the sacred promises made by our founders, and by us to our children and grandchildren, to preserve and protect freedom and defend our national honor?

Let's hope so...I certainly believe it will be so...and I pray I'm not wrong.